🙈 Planned Ignoring

🔍 What It Is

Planned ignoring is a behavioral intervention where adults intentionally withhold attention (eye contact, conversation, physical presence) when a person engages in a behavior they want to reduce. The goal is to make the behavior “extinct” by removing the social reinforcement that may be maintaining it.

This method assumes the behavior is maintained by attention—and that by ignoring it, the behavior will stop.

📹 “Ignoring Is Not a Strategy” – Neurodivergent Rebel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VR6p-fqlmc

🎯 Intended Use

Used for:

  • Repetitive or “disruptive” behaviors

  • Tantrums, calling out, attention-seeking

  • Self-talk, echolalia, flapping, scripting, vocal protests

  • Mild aggression or verbal refusals labeled as “noncompliance”

📄 Autistic Self Advocacy Network – “What is Compliance?”
https://autisticadvocacy.org/2016/12/what-is-compliance/

📄 Neurodivergent K – “Ignoring Hurts”
https://neurodivergentk.com/2021/09/15/ignoring-hurts/

⚙️ How It’s Implemented

  • The person is deliberately not responded to during the behavior

  • No eye contact, no verbal acknowledgement, no physical proximity

  • Adults resume interaction only once the behavior stops

  • Often implemented in school or home settings for “mild” behaviors

📄 Behavior Babe – “Extinction and Its Variants”
https://www.behaviorbabe.com/extinction

📄 Practical Functional Assessment site – Hanley et al.
https://practicalfunctionalassessment.com/

📄 Lerman & Iwata (1999) – Extinction Procedures and Emotional Side Effects
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10201180/

🧪 Evidence Base

  • Pros: Can reduce behaviors maintained by social reinforcement

  • Cons: Often misapplied to behaviors that are self-regulatory or communicative

  • “Success” is often defined as suppression, not well-being

  • Rarely includes data on emotional impact or perceived invalidation

📄 Gresham et al., 2001 – Effectiveness of Attention Extinction
https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ635918

📄 Kupferstein, 2018 – PTSD and Behavioral Therapy Exposure
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-018-3521-2

✅ Reported Benefits

  • Reduces frequency of low-level attention-seeking behaviors

  • Easy to implement in classrooms and group settings

  • Often paired with reinforcement for “replacement” behaviors

BUT:

📹 “Don’t Ignore Me” – Autistic Voices
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOrsNnXQU0E

📄 Neurodivergent Rebel – “Compliance Is Not the Goal”
https://neurodivergentrebel.com/2020/10/22/compliance-is-not-the-goal/

⚠️ Potential Side Effects / Harms

  • Deep emotional invalidation or abandonment

  • Increased distress, meltdowns, or escalation

  • Reinforcement of masking or learned helplessness

  • Can worsen trauma from attachment-related experiences

  • Person may believe their voice or needs don’t matter

📄 NeuroClastic – “They Ignored Me: ABA From a Survivor”
https://neuroclastic.com/they-ignored-me/

📹 “ABA & PTSD – Lived Experience” (YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOeXMy6AYhY

📄 Devon Price – “The Emotional Labor of Being Ignored”
https://devonprice.medium.com/the-emotional-labor-of-being-ignored-d8d18ce675f0

🧠 Ethical Considerations

  • Rarely implemented with informed consent

  • Often targets natural neurodivergent behaviors

  • May dismiss legitimate bids for connection or regulation

  • Ignores power imbalances and lived experience data

📄 ASAN – “Informed Consent and Autonomy”
https://autisticadvocacy.org/2020/11/informed-consent/

📄 Ditch The ABA – Community Stories and Alternatives
https://www.ditchtheaba.com/lived-experience

📄 PDA Society – Understanding Underlying Distress
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/strategies/

🤝 Informed Consent Questions to Ask

  • What behavior is being ignored, and why?

  • Is the behavior a form of communication or regulation?

  • How will emotional safety be protected?

  • Has the person given consent to this plan?

  • What alternatives are in place to support connection?

📄 Assent-Based Consent Checklist (PDF)
https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2020_RethinkABA.pdf

📄 Trauma-Informed Behavior Planning – Ditch The ABA
https://www.ditchtheaba.com/trauma-informed-practices

🔄 Alternatives to Planned Ignoring

  • Respond to needs before escalation

  • Acknowledge behavior while setting boundaries (“I see you’re upset...”)

  • Offer co-regulation and connection

  • Use visual supports and scripts to teach self-advocacy

  • Shift focus to why the behavior is happening—not just stopping it

📄 Practical Functional Assessment site
https://practicalfunctionalassessment.com/

📄 Ross Greene – Collaborative & Proactive Solutions
https://www.livesinthebalance.org/

📄 Neurodivergent Rebel – Respectful Reinforcement
https://neurodivergentrebel.com/

📚 Resource List